Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
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