I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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