If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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