Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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