Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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