Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
