i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
