New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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