You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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