using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
