is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
