drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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