ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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