You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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