I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i out mim tonsoeep
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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