Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had sex on a roof
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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