we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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