The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So vagazzling was a success
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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