If that was your dad, he is hot
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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