man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
