Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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