the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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