I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We have started to decorate penises.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
