Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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