my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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