ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
