Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
