I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
