as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
two words...techno handjob
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
