Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize