I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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