I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
