i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i think my mom watched the whole time
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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