The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
