i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you never un-have a 4some
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
