I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
