sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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