So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
