ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Bring me that man meat
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
