Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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