Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
