This girl is more easily done than said...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
we're so committed to being not committed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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