If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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