She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
