walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
