she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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