New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
