farters have to be the big spoon...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize