Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
