Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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