just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
