we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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