The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So vagazzling was a success
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
