I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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