I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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