uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
