It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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