I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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