i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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