The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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