Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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