You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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