I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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