Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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