ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
